I went back and forth about whether to share this, but finally decided that sharing my experience might make the difference for someone else. So while I don’t normally mix my personal life with our business persona, here’s why you don’t see me in the nursery as much any more…
In May of 2022 I had a heart attack. (It still feels so strange articulating that.) To say I wasn’t planning on having a major life crisis is an understatement! I had things to do! As a matter of fact, the morning of “the big event” I was busy getting ready for a television appearance to promote Succulent Extravaganza. I had gone through my morning routine and was starting to load the car with all the plants and props I would be taking to the studio. In mid-load I felt a heaviness in my chest. It was uncomfortable but not really painful. Usually, I’m pretty nervous as I prepare to go on live tv, so I initially wrote it off. I sat down for a bit, and it abated slightly. Quick glance at my watch and I knew I had to get back to loading the car, but as I was doing so, the feeling came back. Best way for me to describe it at its worse, is to say it felt like someone poured concrete in my sternum. This caused shortness of breath. Back inside for a rest on the couch. Then my left shoulder started to ache, and my entire arm felt tingly. Now I started to consider if it was a heart attack.
Nerves or Something Bigger?
A little back story though so you don’t think I was crazy to not just call an ambulance. My father had been living with us since the beginning of the year, and just 3 weeks prior to my “big event” he had a heart attack that unfortunately he did not recover from. 10 days following my father’s death, my mother in Florida was rushed to emergency with chest pain. Hers was not a heart attack but did require medication and a move to another state to be closer to my sister.
So there I was, sitting in my living room, trying to rationalize my symptoms against his and hers. What were the odds that a healthy, active 60-year-old, not on any medication, would be having a heart attack? More likely it was like my mother’s, a case of stress. I’d be fine. I had a show to do in less than an hour and Succulent Extravaganza was only three days away. I did not have time for dramatics!
The Show Must Go On
Off I went to the studio and did the show through waves of feeling like I had a hardboiled egg stuck in my chest. My adrenaline kept me going until I was heading back down Hwy 99. By now I knew it wasn’t just nerves. As I got back to the shop, I told my husband that I wasn’t feeling well and wanted to go to Emergency. I was still totally able to function although the discomfort was pretty intense across my chest, my left shoulder, down my left arm, even up into the left side of my jaw. The intensity of discomfort faded in and out.
At Emergency my EKG was totally normal, so I was sent out to the waiting room. We relaxed a bit since, in my mind, that meant I wasn’t having heart attack. Over the next several hours I was called in for blood work and x-rays and each time was sent back to the waiting room. I even told my husband to go back to work, since there was a lot to still prepare for the upcoming weekend and I obviously wasn’t in any danger. I was sure they were just going to do a barrage of tests and I would be sent home in a few hours. Unfortunately, that’s not how my story ended.
Ultimately the blood work revealed an enzyme, that is supposed to only live in your heart. Mine was out dancing the conga through my blood stream! That’s when they told me I was having a heart attack. Once they got in and looked around, they found I was experiencing a rare type of heart attack called SCAD which stands for Spontaneous Coronary Artery Dissection. Basically, I spontaneously ripped a vessel in my heart, which is ironic because I don’t do anything spontaneously! I’m structured and methodical and this event was nowhere on my To Do List! 90% of SCAD cases are in otherwise healthy women between 30-60, often times occurring after childbirth, menopause, or situations of severe stress or heavy lifting. I, like many women, am used to powering through it – whatever “it” may be. Were there symptoms leading up to the “big event” that I ignored? Definitely. Had I been under extreme stress for a long period of time? Definitely. Was I good about self care? Definitely not. Too busy. Not a priority.
Listen to Your Body
So the moral of the story is, when your body needs a break it may ask you nicely once or twice (for me it was racing heart symptoms and excessive fatigue). If you ignore it, it may choose to do something more severe to get your attention. I’m extremely lucky. My heart is otherwise very healthy. “Gorgeous” in fact said my cardiologist. 🙂 So for me, after a few days in the hospital, I received medication and was sent home to rest and heal, giving myself all the self care I had been neglecting.
I’m sharing the story because not all heart attacks look like what you see in the movies. Even at it’s worse I could have explained it away as something else. I know so many people who put everyone and everything first before themselves. What I’m learning through all this is that putting yourself first every now and again isn’t selfish. It’s necessary if you want to be around to enjoy all the miracles that life has to offer – like grand babies! Yes, we found out while I was literally in the ER that we were going to be grandparents. Our first!
Happy Endings
Life changed in many ways after my “Big Event”. As far as the nursery goes, I kept trying to come back to daily work but found that my body was having none of it. Luckily we have an excellent team in place to handle the day to day and I can now focus from home on the back end work. So while some like to tease that I’ve retired, I view it more as finally being promoted off the floor!
I look forward to seeing you when I am at the shop, and as always, I’m forever just an email away.
Jennifer
Thank you for sharing your “personal” story! I am so glad you got diagnosed properly and are doing well spending time with a new grandchild! Much more important than spending too many hours at work…but we love your Secret Garden and hope having such a great staff gives you permission to relax!
Thank you Mary! Yes, I’m so lucky and feel I have found the perfect work/life balance after all these years!